Pick-Up Line Punch
by Meridian31
Summary: "If you use one more shitty pickup line on me, I will throat punch you." / Drabble. One-Shot. / Karl Anderson


The first time it happened, I had been getting a post-show meal with Dean and Roman at a mellow 24 hour diner we'd stumbled upon during our travel to the next city for RAW.

When Luke had walked in, it was like his eyes had honed right in on me. We had friendship history from his previous tenure in WWE, where we had become 'irritate CM Punk with our antics buddies'. It was a very deep bond.

Karl, who was trailing behind him, I had only recently gotten to know. He was friendly and seemed to have a good sense of humor. Plus, he was nice to look at. Granted, many of the men of the WWE were easy on the eyes, but it was always pleasant to have more around.

"Mind if we join you?" Luke had asked with little room for disagreement. I'd shifted over in the booth, allowing Karl to slide in next to me. He took the menu from the table, his eyes scanning over it.

"I think I'm gonna go for some fried chicken," Dean decided, folding up his own menu. He and Luke began to talk about something, I wasn't sure, as I was still scanning my own menu.

"Hey, you wanna know something?" I hadn't expected Karl to speak to me, especially not in such a quiet voice.

"Hmmm?"

"You got more legs than a bucket of chicken."

My eyes widened ever so slightly as they were still on my menu. I slowly turned my gaze towards him, until I was able to see enough of his profile. Karl was still looking down at his own menu, the smallest of smirks on his face. I observed him for a moment, and when he didn't make any motion to acknowledge me, I turned my head back round.

 _What the fuck._

It didn't stop there.

For the next few weeks, Karl would find any occasion whenever he could at shows to slip in a silly pick-up line. Whether in catering or gorilla or just passing in the hallways, he didn't let an opportunity go by.

Some of the lines were funny and innocent.

 _"_ _Is your name Google? Because you're the answer to everything I'm searching for."_

 _"_ _Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you."_

 _"_ _Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?"_

Other lines were a bit more…direct.

 _"_ _Are you by chance an archaeologist? Because I have a large bone that needs to be examined."_

 _"_ _Hey, I'm looking for treasure. Can I look around your chest?"_

I rolled my eyes to myself each time. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried, a smile usually came to my face at his words, along with a shake of my head and tiny huff of a laugh. While I didn't necessarily understand what he was doing, it was still amusing. And after my reaction, he would always smile, wink, and walk away.

I was usually a pleasant and positive person backstage, and I could roll with the punches and ribbings. Whatever little game Karl was playing, whether flirting or just general fun, I wasn't reading into it too deeply.

However, that was _most_ of the time.

I still had my bad days as I was human after all. And though my off days were rare, they still happened. Things with my family, or frustrations with the women's division, were usually the cause.

It was only a matter of time until Karl crossed me on one of these days. It was when I was sitting alone at a table in catering that it happened. I was in _just the right mood_ to rebuff his efforts with enthusiasm. I watched Karl approach from the corner of my eye, his own plate in his hands. Once he reached the table, I didn't stop myself.

"If you use one more shitty pickup line on me, I will throat punch you." I didn't look up as I spoke. Taking another bite from my plate, I waited in the baited silence for his response. Based on the ensuing quiet, I assumed he hadn't expected that.

"I…I'm sorry."

And that was something **I** hadn't expected.

"I wasn't…."

Karl stopped talking, and it was then that I turned enough to let my eyes meet his. He looked almost embarrassed? I lifted my eyebrows, indicating I expected him to continue with his thoughts. He looked down at his plate, and I noticed him shuffling his feet before his gaze came back to mine.

"It wasn't meaning to upset you. Just…having fun," he stated.

"Well, I'm glad you had your fun, but I'm done with it now," I asserted, turning back to my food, effectively ending the conversation on my part. I could feel Karl still standing there, silently, could feel him still looking at me.

"Are…you alright?"

"Fine."

"It's been my experience that…when the answer is 'fine' then things are definitely not," he countered, his tone gentle.

"Just having a day," I gave him a short answer, hoping he'd let it drop.

"Anything I can do?"

"Nope."

What he did next I hadn't anticipated. He pulled out the chair next to me, set his plate down, and then put himself in the chair. From the corner of my eye, I watched as he began to eat.

I wasn't at all sure what his actions meant, but I didn't question him. I returned to picking away at my own food, neither of us speaking to the other for some time. As I sat there, I realized I may have bitten Karl's head off unnecessarily. He was harmless in his actions, and I'd threatened to hurt him in response. I felt a little bad for it.

"Soooo…. Is this where I shouldn't say 'I don't know what Quidditch position you play, but you sure look like a keeper?'".

My eyes immediately flashed up to his face. He was looking at me with his lips pressed together, clearly attempting to keep a smile hidden. But there were still little crinkles near his eyes and that gave him away.

"You're such an idiot," I stated, not nearly as annoyed as I had been when he first approached me.

"Yea, but usually you like that," Karl pointed out. "Up until today, you always laughed and I never thought it upset you."

"…it didn't," I sighed. "I'm just having a day. Honestly, it's not you." He seemed accepting of my explanation and didn't look mad at me. "Hey, really with the Harry Potter line?"

"I know you like that stuff," he shrugged.

"I've never told you that."

"Heard you talking to Sasha about it once," Karl explained.

"Stalk, much?" I titled my head in question, and he had the good grace to look a little sheepish.

"I just…." He trailed off, breaking eye contact for a second. I watched as he seemed to make some type of decision within himself before he looked back to me. "I like making you smile. And this whole thing, it's just been my way of trying to do that."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say to that. It was kind of sweet and honestly hadn't been the motivation I'd expected. I just assumed Karl liked to joke around with me and that was it. "Well, cool."

"Yea, cool." I looked at him for a moment longer before turning back to the table and grabbing my water bottle. I couldn't explain it, but I felt a flush over my body as the moment passed through me. Something told me I was going to be getting a lot more pickup lines from Karl Anderson in the future. And a small part of me hoped that eventually one of them would be serious.


End file.
